Thankful Soup

I think back to 2009, and I am reminded that I have many things for which I can be thankful. I also see some areas in my life that I would like to grow in 2010. So, tonight I write my thanks. Perhaps tomorrow I will gain the courage to write what I hope 2010 will look like in my life.

1. I am thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ, and His willingness to always extend grace to me; though I continually fall short of portraying Him and His love to my family, friends, and strangers.

2. Mr. Right. Adam is a fantastic balance to me and my (many) quirks. He is loving, patient, kind, and the best father to Zachary. Plus, he's hot.

3. Zachary. That kid brings smiles and laughs each day. His arrival in our lives was life-altering. It turned us upside down and inside out. I never knew I could love so much or so hard. My favorite phrase of his (recently) is, "I dig you, Mom!" Could it get any sweeter?

4. Employment. In the midst of a highly tumultuous economy, Adam and I both have steady employment. I am increasingly reminded of what a true gift this is; and as if that isn't enough, I truly enjoy what I do, and the people with whom I work.

5. Home. We have a warm, cozy home. It isn't the biggest--it's a townhouse--or the swankiest in the area. But it's ours, and we laugh, play, eat, and enjoy life in this little home.

6. Family and friends. This year has brought with it pain, waiting, wondering, and more questions than there are stars in the sky. Through it all, I have had the support and love of my family and friends, who often offered encouragement with a simple smile or hug. You know who you are. Thank you.

I am deeply, richly blessed. Reflecting on the good in life often makes the bad more bearable.

Breakfast Blog Entry

I spent the last six months unwittingly fasting the blog. So, this is my "breakfast" entry, so to speak. When I look back at the last six months, I realize a lot of life happened. A lot of firsts for Zachary, and some for us, too.

Today is our first real snow of the season. And, I look out the window of--where else?--Starbucks, and see a gorgeous white blanket that makes me want to catch the first flight to Fort Lauderdale. I think coming into our seventh winter in Chicago, I've decided I really don't care for snow. Is this because I have a three year-old to schlep around in it? Or, because I have seen more than a native Pacific Northwesterner should in her life? I am not sure. Stay tuned, maybe I will dissect these questions further.

Soon I will hop in the pimpin' minivan and head to Zachary's school for their Christmas "Cup of Juice." I think this entails a craft together, a cookie, and (of course) a cup of juice. This is only one of two times I will get to do this with him, so I intend to soak up the entire experience thoroughly. Then, we'll hop back in aforementioned vehicle, and we'll slippity-slide home.

Winter is here. Blech.

Too small

I knew the day would come when my lap would be too small for my boy to sit in. I didn't know it would be so soon.

Zachary is now three, knows his mind, and has his own *strong* opinions. He is 40 inches tall, and loves to show off his Samson-like strength. It is thrilling to watch him grow and develop into the big boy that he is. But it's heartbreaking, too, because the past three years have gone more quickly than I could have imagined.

I've been working more than normal recently, so Zachary and I often grab whatever sweet moments together that we can. The other morning, he woke up at 4:30, asking to rock with me. Since this request now comes as often as Hailey's Comet, I seized the chance to drowsily rock with my all-arms-and-legs little dude.

As we rocked in the wee hours of the morning, listening to the birds usher in the day with their chirp-talk, I realized, "Zachary isn't really sitting in my lap." Rather, he was sitting beside me, because he had started sliding off my lap. It's too small. So, with that realization, I began mourning the passing of the "littleness" in my life. Zachary is now "big."

As much as I celebrate his growth and development, a little bit of my heart is broken. I know he's still little comparatively, but somewhere along the line, we passed that baton on to other friends who have had kids since he was born. So, I wipe away the tears of sadness, and brighten up, smile, and ask Zachary to show me how he can climb that baseball backstop. We have much to look forward to, but I secretly hope he asks to rock at least one more time.

Reflections

I am sitting on the deck with Adam, enjoying a beautiful spring day in Chicago. It's about 70 degrees, blue skies, and no humidity. Kind of like Seattle in July. Kicking my feet back, I am reflecting on the past three years and the changes that we have seen in our family in that short period of time.

Zachary turned three this past Wednesday. And, as every other mother I know, I spent much of the day reminiscing about the day my sweet baby was born. Looking through pictures, I realize just how little he was. Duh, right? We loved our "little sack of sugar" and have loved seeing him grow and change through all of the developmental stages.

Three weeks ago, on April 9, he went to bed without his binky. We seized on the opportunity to break him of the habit. While it hasn't been the easiest transition (according to him, it was an accidental occurence and he begged for it the next day), his future orthodontist will thank us for it. Or maybe, because we jumped on it, his orthodontist will not thank us for it, because he won't have as much work to bill.

Then, last Saturday, May 2, we went cold turkey to big boy underwear. Okay, not completely. His bed thanks us for that. But, for a week, during his waking hours Zachary has only worn underwear. And while that has been another big transition, he's weathering it well. Some days are better than others.

With all of these big boy changes, Z has begun presenting us with some challenges. Who sets the rules? One little three year-old I know would like to think he does. I hear this is a phase. Perhaps lasting another 15 years or so.

Each day I look at the boy in front of me and wonder how we so quickly went from "sack of sugar" to "tall drink of water with a little spice." I pray continually that God will give me the wisdom to guide him as he grows into a little man; and that as he grows, Zachary will learn what matters most in life through our actions.

Monkey business

This weekend we went to Lincoln Park Zoo. From the moment we told Zachary where we were headed, to the time we walked through the gate, the only thing we heard from his mouth was, "We're going to see MONKEYS!"

So, see monkeys we did. And penguins, apes, chimps, giraffes, zebras, lions, tigers (polar) bears, and so much more. But, the monkeys stole the show. As does our little monkey, oftentimes.

Seeing the zoo and its animals through an almost-three-year-old's eyes was an astounding experience. Every little thing had to be studied and questioned. The things we take for granted ("the seal looks bigger right now because it's underwater and the glass is curved") can be breathtaking discoveries for a little one.

I sit here tonight reflecting on our adventure so thankful for the gift of Zachary. I am a better person because of his existence. His open, curious, sweet, gentle nature is a reminder to me that I can, and should, appreciate God's creative work more often than I do.

"There they are, Mom!"

The meal of choice these days, "hot dog and bread"

He did his best to drive the train, but this was the closest he could get.
Successful train ride, tired boy missing a nap.

This was a familiar sight around the zoo.

Coffee date with Mommy in Greektown.

Jumping on the hotel bed with Cousin Kaitlyn's Flat Stanley

Z's first time on a train. Flat Stanley's, too.

The end of a great adventure.

Are you happy?

At almost-three years old, Zachary has begun to place labels on emotions that we experience. Curiously, he is particularly interested in, and in tune with, mommy's emotions.

In recent weeks, receiving a stern talking-to, or being disciplined, he stops, looks at me, shines his genuine, signature smile and says, "Are you happy?"

That makes it difficult to continue with the stern mommy-face. I am sure he sees that, and that is why he does it. What a goofy, goofy dude. He sure makes us laugh!

New habits

So, Zachary is *almost* potty trained. He is, in that, he wears underwear, has accidents if we don't put him on the potty regularly, and still wears diapers at nap, night, and for "number 2." We still have a long way to go, but I now have hope that he will be trained before heading to pre-school in the fall.

Along with his new potty habit, he has taken to falling asleep in "his chair." We have found him fast asleep in the chair each night for close to two weeks now. We finally had to take a picture of it, because neither one of us imagine being able to sleep in the particular position we found him a few nights ago.

A few pics of the aforementioned activities follow:

Thumbs up for underwear!

Showing our muscles is a favorite pass-time

How in the world can he do this?

Gettin' a little perspective

Sometimes it just takes a little peek outside of ourselves and our circumstances to gain a little perspective.

I admit, over the past few months I have been wrapped up largely in my own concerns. Both Adam and I have been busy with work, taking care of family tasks (big and small), and trying to make headway with seemingly unending projects.

Two weeks ago, we had the pleasure of packing food for Feed My Starving Children with our church. 115 of us packed 108 boxes of food in just over an hour. Those boxes will feed 64 children for a year, in one of the 50 countries that FMSC serves. What a truly great experience to be a part of something to make the life of a child richer. Perhaps I should say, it is gratifying to know our work may help save lives.

Last week, we took Zachary to a pediatric dermatologist at University of Chicago. He has a birthmark we have been watching for some time, and felt it was time to get it checked out to make sure it wasn't anything more threatening than just a birthmark. Thankfully, it's not an urgent concern. But, while at University of Chicago, I was constantly reminded of the urgent concerns that others were facing at the very same time we were breathing a sigh of relief.

Both of these opportunities gave me a gentle reminder that--although we do have stress and concerns--life is rich for us. We do not rely on the kindness of strangers for our one meal per day, we have good health, and we have a community to support us, encourage us, and pray for us when things are not quite smooth sailing.

We are thankful for the perspective we gained in the past few weeks. To end this post on a lighter note, I am posting two photos below: one is Zachary in his very first "doctor's visit gown", and Adam at the food packing party.

Being Mom

A friend recently posted the following article on her Facebook profile. I took the time to read it and found myself laughing uproariously. If you'd like to read it, click on the image, it should bring up a full-size page for you.



If you can't read it, or don't want to take the time, in a nutshell: a reader writes in...she can't fathom why her friend with kids is so tired all the time and can't seem to eke time out for her friendships. Carolyn Hax responds artfully with great insight; she humorously defuses this reader's bomb with a description of what it's like to Be Mom.

Just two weeks ago a friend and I were laughing about the fact that when we were DINKS (dual income, no kids), we just didn't understand why many of the moms we knew looked constantly like they'd been through the wringer. Now we know.

It's not just the things that Ms. Hax mentions in her article. It's also the weight of the world known as growing a healthy, contributing member of society without sending that individual into years' worth of therapy--all while working on weeks/months/years of five or six hours of broken sleep each night--on your shoulders.

Single moms who have to work full-time while raising their kids (like my very cool, older sister raising four kids on her own), especially deserve kudos for their hard work.

This stuff is hard. But, it's also pretty great.

Being Mom is the hardest and most gratifying work a woman can do, should she choose to go the route of motherhood. All of the women I know that are moms would absolutely do it all over again in a heartbeat. So, while it's hard, it also brings moments of sheer joy. But, as curious as this reader is about why moms don't have time for friends, I would suggest it may be best for her relationship with her mom-friend if she lose a bit of the edgy 'tude. I can guarantee that's the last thing a tired, spent mom needs to deal with. And, it may just be why she hasn't seen her friend in a while.

Photos of that glorious day...

...well, the glorious five minutes, at least. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, scroll on down to my most recent post, "Sneak Peak..."

Getting the "Mee-mos" on

Uh, these feel a little weird

Poor kid, we've got some great blackmail pics

Checkin it out

Sneak peek into our future

We recently experimented with Zachary in "big boy underwear". He was so incredibly proud of himself, and we were, too! He was strutting around in Nemo underwear (and, subsequently, Elmo underwear just for fun), as if he was the STUFF. He stayed dry for the entire five minutes of our experiment. Score one for true potty training (true vs. false being he has had at least one trip to the toilet each day for the past six months)!

The next day, I brought out the "Meemo" underwear at his request. I pulled off his diaper, put on the "Meemo's" and left the room for 30 seconds to toss the diaper in the proper receptacle. When I return, what should I find? Of course! A wet spot on the special "Meemo's". Score one for the not-quite-yet-trained bladder.

I imagine that this is a song I will be singing several times this year. I do vow to have that boy in "Meemo's" for good within the next few months. So, stay tuned!

Other thoughts and cherished memories:

*Zachary really "got" Christmas this year. He absolutely loved learning about Daddy Joseph, Mommy Mary, and Baby Jesus, both at his school, and at home. He also thoroughly enjoyed the toolbench Santa brought him.

*Each night, before bed, Adam reads to Zachary. The book of choice these days is You are Special by Max Lucado. The book tells the story of the Wemmicks, and each one's uniqueness in the eyes of his/her creator. This is an excellent book for each child's library. After storytime, we all sing four songs together--all of Z's choice, and always in the same order--Rock-a-bye-baby, Jesus loves you (me), Twinkle, twinkle little star, and The alphabet song. This bedtime ritual has become a cherished time for us, singing at the top of our lungs with great vigor, and not always all on the same pitch. I'm sure for an outsider listening in, it could be a humorous moment.

*Some of Zachary's recent sayings include: Yeah, baby!; I'll get it for you; Pick you up, mommy; I'll share it with you; I'm so proud of you. I also often catch him singing some of his favorite songs to himself, or his "friends" (stuffed animals).

This is a sweet, challenging time in our life with this little boy. He is an amazing human being, so gentle, loving, and funny. We look forward to seeing what 2009 brings with him!