It's so hard to say good-bye...

At 2 1/2, Zachary has already had to say good-bye to a few good friends because of family moves for jobs. He doesn't really understand it all at this young age, but I am sure one day he will be acutely aware when a friend moves away. Recently, he had to say good-bye to one of his best buddies, Evan. His family moved to the northeast, and Zachary is left here asking for EvAAAAAAAAAn every other day. I'm so sad for Z, because he and Evan played so well together and had a blast laughing (almost) uncontrollably at the silliest things: driving toy cars on each other's arms, watching a ball bounce in a funny way, or trying to "pass" a balloon in the air. They loved playing trains, going to school, and making a serious mess of whoever's house happened to be in the way of these two boys.

We will miss Evan and his family terribly, but do wish them the best in their transition home. Below are a few pictures of the two buddies.

This is only appropriate at age two

Zachary playing with Baby Colin, Evan's brother

Isn't he the cutest?

Taking a break from the train table to mug for the camera

Little did they know, this would be their last playgroup together

Oh ye of little faith...

I often hear from a few Doubting Thomases that there is absolutely no way that my house is ever messy (usually friends and family who visit after a good house-cleaning). Well, obviously, that is not the case--we do have a 2 1/2 year-old boy! Anyway, I felt the need to offer some evidence to the contrary. I took these photos after we hosted a playgroup of 6 toddlers (including Zachary) and 5 crawlers. It was a ton of fun, as you might be able to see in the following pictures.

Potty training in public places

Zachary has become very adept at going potty on the "big boy potty seat"; he's just taken to refusing to go at home, unless it is just before bathtime at night. I tell you this only to help you understand my newest dillema: public toilets. Specifically, Zachary is only interested in going to the bathroom if we're in public.

So, picture this: we're at Starbucks this morning. I'm halfway through my Pumpkin Latte, Zachary is chowing on his donut. A man passes our table and enters the men's room. Zachary jumps off his chair and shouts "Zarachary go POTTY!!" and runs to the bathroom. I grab my diaper bag and try to catch up with him quickly without knocking over our entire table and making a further scene.

So--as with every other public bathroom experience thus far--this is how the potty time goes: 1)take off the shoes, so I can 2) take off the pants, so I can 3) take off the diaper, so we can 4) put a toilet protector on the seat--at this point, Zachary, in just socks and a shirt, runs over to the garbage can, and sticks his hands right in--I catch him, then get him on the toilet. He goes, SCORE! Now, we have to do everything in reverse, without him running out into the store completely naked. My friend, Lil, has perfected putting diapers on her son while he stands...I, however, have not. Therefore, I hope and pray Zachary's diaper will stay on the rest of the time we are out and about; at least on enough to catch the inevitable...

This scene has played out in church, a funeral home, the library, and several other places. I look forward to the time when he is completely trained so it doesn't take 15 minutes to go to the bathroom. I don't understand his obsession with public toilets--I'm a little grossed out by them myself--but, we moms do what we have to do, right? Ahhh, the life of a mom!

Encouraging words, just in time

Mom friends, do you ever wonder if what you are doing is enough? Do you feel--like I do--that some days things just click, and other days, it all falls apart? I've had a couple of less-than-smooth-sailing weeks, and have been fairly hard on myself as a result. Well, in God's perfect timing (as always), the following devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries landed in my e-mail inbox.

No pictures today, just a word of encouragement and solidarity to all my mom-friends.

Good Mom, Bad Mom, Good Mom
Lysa TerKeurst

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26 (NIV)

Devotion:
Good Mom? Bad Mom? Good Mom? Bad Mom? Do you ever feel as though you are the ping-pong ball in a heated match bouncing constantly between feeling like a good mom to a bad mom?

One minute I have a great discussion where my child finally gets it... GOOD MOM!
The next I get an e-mail from a teacher that lists the three parents who have yet to turn in that permission slip and I am on the list for all the world to see... BAD MOM!
I calmly handle the stresses of the morning routine... GOOD MOM!
But then during the afternoon homework session, my child's irresponsibility over a last minute project just about sends me over the edge. I find my neck muscles tensing and my voice rising... BAD MOM!
I make sure they pack something healthy for lunch... GOOD MOM!
The schedule falls apart in the late afternoon and I wind up feeding them sugar cereal for dinner... BAD MOM!
Sometimes I feel like that ping-pong ball mom bouncing from feeling good to bad. Yesterday morning I sat down at the kitchen table after getting everyone where they needed to be and cried. Sometimes having kids is the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. Other days I feel like the task of parenting little people is driving me to the brink of craziness.
Just the other day I was processing some recent family things with my friend, Renee, over the phone. Suddenly a strange theme seemed to arise. I just started laughing. I told Renee that so many of my days seemed to tell the same kind of story... I was on the verge of a breakdown and then I spent time with Jesus and He made things better.
Renee quipped back to me, "Well, isn't that where most of us live every day?"
Not that we are on the edge of a breakdown, but we live in a place of utter dependence on God. I know as a mom, I live in constant need of His love, encouragement, wisdom, perspective, strength, patience, and grace.
Anything I do right as a mom is because of my constant dialogs with God.
Anything I do wrong as a mom is because of trying to do things in my own strength and slap wearing myself out.
That's where grace steps in. And I need lots of grace. God's grace steps in and says, “Lysa, you are doing better than you think. Stop bouncing from feeling good to bad to good to bad. In the good times, rejoice and thank me. In the not so good times, call out to me quickly."
And suddenly it occurred to me; with God I'm never a bad mom. I might be having a bad moment... or two... or seventeen. But a few bad moments do not define me as a bad mom.
God's grace is there to cover me. Teach me. And even in the middle of a bad moment, interrupt me, redirect me, and change me.
Forgiveness is there. Love is there. A second chance is there.
You are a good mom my friend even if, like me, you’ve had a few bad moments... you is the exact mom God knew your children needed. Let's live in that truth today.

Our Staycation

One of our favorite annual events is the Navistar Cantera employee picnic. This year was even more fun because Zachary was really starting to "get" the excitement and all the cool things they offered (inflatables, circus people, BIG TRUCKS, and more!!). Z got to go on his first pony ride, on a pony named Bingo. He got to go in a school bus, which was extreme fun, ride in a MXT, eat all the yummy food...and (almost) skip a nap. By the time we got home, Z was tuckered out from a fun day and more than ready for a good resting. This was a good day to be a mommy, so fun to watch him experience the newness of things that we grown-ups can--and do--take for granted.

We enjoyed our time with friends, and Zachary got to experience this all with his good buddy, Josh (pictured below in the school bus with Z). This is a great fall kick-off for the Self family...many more fall events to come!

There is nothing that pleases Zachary more than being with his daddy and watching school buses drive by--put those two together and he's in heaven!

Mama and her boy waiting for the pony named...

BINGO

Ice cream, and ice cream sandwiches, are a must in our family for any celebration

Hugging the trees--you can take the Mama out of Oregon, but the genes keep going!

First Day of "School"

Zachary is officially in "school"--a Parents Day Out program at a local Lutheran church. His first day was actually Thursday, September 4, but true to form, I'm a week late in posting photos or any information about it. He goes to school once a week--each Thursday--from 8:30 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. A long time for a 2 year-old! But, he absolutely loves it! Two of his playgroup pals, Elsie and Evan, go to the same class, so every day I now hear "Zarachary, Elsie??!!" or "Zarachary, Evaaaaaan??!!" Translated, Zachary wants to see the friend of his choice, as soon as possible, preferably. Since he is two, he had a difficult time standing still for the traditional first day of school photos...so, what I have below is my best effort, among pouring down rain, a blown-out umbrella, and a desire to stay as in-tact as possible for my meeting that I was due to in less than an hour.

Meet Harvey

We made a new friend last weekend, Harvey. The first live preying mantis any of us had ever seen. We watched it on and off all day, and it didn't move from its post on our family room window screen. It was probably the weirdest creature I have ever seen, and it was amazing how much Harvey watched us. Harvey was gone the next morning, and it has been a week since we spent the day with him, but Zachary still asks for Harvey, and looks out the window to find him. Here are a few photos from our home-based adventure.