Self Yard

God's Wrath and a PR Dilemma (Move On Already)

2010-01-15T13:13:00.000-08:00

The blogosphere and twitterverse have exploded in response to Pat Robertson's statement that the monster earthquake in Haiti--which caused inconceivable death and destruction--is, essentially God's punishment on a nation for a "pact with the devil" made by the nation's forefathers centuries ago. (You can watch the actual video here.)

In context, I do see that perhaps, his intent is not to directly condemn the Haitians. Rather, he seems to think it important to give a (loose, undocumented) lesson of the country's history and how it has been affected throughout history since said "pact."

I have to ask, though, where was Mr. Robertson's PR team? Was there no discussion about the show that day, no script? Mr. Robertson and his team have been around the media business long enough to know that a statement like this can be chopped, edited, and twisted into the smallest sound-byte possible (not to mention the sensational headlines), and yet, this didn't make it through the vetting process? And yes, I must say, this is a statement that requires much more than a clarification, which is then followed by a Tiger-esque retreat to who-knows-where.

There is no doubt the timing of Mr. Robertson's educational foray was poor. But, we need to move on. At this point there are millions of people in need of our help. We can either choose to be distracted and debate the controversial statements of Mr. Robertson (and, today, Danny Glover), or we can choose to take action along with our fellow Americans.

Today, the Red Cross reported that they had received $10 million in aid through text messages alone. What an excellent use of technology. If you haven't done so yet, text in your donation, or give to the rescue efforts underway in Haiti right now. Through Red Cross, Samaritan's Purse, World Vision, or other reputable organizations.

Let's get busy doing what needs to be done. Lives are at stake.

If you haven't had your fill of the subject, these two titles are worthwhile reads:

*Don Miller wrote an excellent blog post, responding to Mr. Robertson's statement.

*Newsweek came out with an interesting piece titled "Why God Hates Haiti--the frustrating theology of suffering."

Thankful Soup

2009-12-30T20:17:00.000-08:00

I think back to 2009, and I am reminded that I have many things for which I can be thankful. I also see some areas in my life that I would like to grow in 2010. So, tonight I write my thanks. Perhaps tomorrow I will gain the courage to write what I hope 2010 will look like in my life.

1. I am thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ, and His willingness to always extend grace to me; though I continually fall short of portraying Him and His love to my family, friends, and strangers.

2. Mr. Right. Adam is a fantastic balance to me and my (many) quirks. He is loving, patient, kind, and the best father to Zachary. Plus, he's hot.

3. Zachary. That kid brings smiles and laughs each day. His arrival in our lives was life-altering. It turned us upside down and inside out. I never knew I could love so much or so hard. My favorite phrase of his (recently) is, "I dig you, Mom!" Could it get any sweeter?

4. Employment. In the midst of a highly tumultuous economy, Adam and I both have steady employment. I am increasingly reminded of what a true gift this is; and as if that isn't enough, I truly enjoy what I do, and the people with whom I work.

5. Home. We have a warm, cozy home. It isn't the biggest--it's a townhouse--or the swankiest in the area. But it's ours, and we laugh, play, eat, and enjoy life in this little home.

6. Family and friends. This year has brought with it pain, waiting, wondering, and more questions than there are stars in the sky. Through it all, I have had the support and love of my family and friends, who often offered encouragement with a simple smile or hug. You know who you are. Thank you.

I am deeply, richly blessed. Reflecting on the good in life often makes the bad more bearable.

Breakfast Blog Entry

2009-12-08T07:51:00.000-08:00

I spent the last six months unwittingly fasting the blog. So, this is my "breakfast" entry, so to speak. When I look back at the last six months, I realize a lot of life happened. A lot of firsts for Zachary, and some for us, too.

Today is our first real snow of the season. And, I look out the window of--where else?--Starbucks, and see a gorgeous white blanket that makes me want to catch the first flight to Fort Lauderdale. I think coming into our seventh winter in Chicago, I've decided I really don't care for snow. Is this because I have a three year-old to schlep around in it? Or, because I have seen more than a native Pacific Northwesterner should in her life? I am not sure. Stay tuned, maybe I will dissect these questions further.

Soon I will hop in the pimpin' minivan and head to Zachary's school for their Christmas "Cup of Juice." I think this entails a craft together, a cookie, and (of course) a cup of juice. This is only one of two times I will get to do this with him, so I intend to soak up the entire experience thoroughly. Then, we'll hop back in aforementioned vehicle, and we'll slippity-slide home.

Winter is here. Blech.

Too small

2009-05-30T10:01:00.001-07:00

I knew the day would come when my lap would be too small for my boy to sit in. I didn't know it would be so soon.

Zachary is now three, knows his mind, and has his own *strong* opinions. He is 40 inches tall, and loves to show off his Samson-like strength. It is thrilling to watch him grow and develop into the big boy that he is. But it's heartbreaking, too, because the past three years have gone more quickly than I could have imagined.

I've been working more than normal recently, so Zachary and I often grab whatever sweet moments together that we can. The other morning, he woke up at 4:30, asking to rock with me. Since this request now comes as often as Hailey's Comet, I seized the chance to drowsily rock with my all-arms-and-legs little dude.

As we rocked in the wee hours of the morning, listening to the birds usher in the day with their chirp-talk, I realized, "Zachary isn't really sitting in my lap." Rather, he was sitting beside me, because he had started sliding off my lap. It's too small. So, with that realization, I began mourning the passing of the "littleness" in my life. Zachary is now "big."

As much as I celebrate his growth and development, a little bit of my heart is broken. I know he's still little comparatively, but somewhere along the line, we passed that baton on to other friends who have had kids since he was born. So, I wipe away the tears of sadness, and brighten up, smile, and ask Zachary to show me how he can climb that baseball backstop. We have much to look forward to, but I secretly hope he asks to rock at least one more time.

Reflections

2009-05-03T13:15:00.000-07:00

I am sitting on the deck with Adam, enjoying a beautiful spring day in Chicago. It's about 70 degrees, blue skies, and no humidity. Kind of like Seattle in July. Kicking my feet back, I am reflecting on the past three years and the changes that we have seen in our family in that short period of time.

Zachary turned three this past Wednesday. And, as every other mother I know, I spent much of the day reminiscing about the day my sweet baby was born. Looking through pictures, I realize just how little he was. Duh, right? We loved our "little sack of sugar" and have loved seeing him grow and change through all of the developmental stages.

Three weeks ago, on April 9, he went to bed without his binky. We seized on the opportunity to break him of the habit. While it hasn't been the easiest transition (according to him, it was an accidental occurence and he begged for it the next day), his future orthodontist will thank us for it. Or maybe, because we jumped on it, his orthodontist will not thank us for it, because he won't have as much work to bill.

Then, last Saturday, May 2, we went cold turkey to big boy underwear. Okay, not completely. His bed thanks us for that. But, for a week, during his waking hours Zachary has only worn underwear. And while that has been another big transition, he's weathering it well. Some days are better than others.

With all of these big boy changes, Z has begun presenting us with some challenges. Who sets the rules? One little three year-old I know would like to think he does. I hear this is a phase. Perhaps lasting another 15 years or so.

Each day I look at the boy in front of me and wonder how we so quickly went from "sack of sugar" to "tall drink of water with a little spice." I pray continually that God will give me the wisdom to guide him as he grows into a little man; and that as he grows, Zachary will learn what matters most in life through our actions.

Monkey business

2009-04-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

This weekend we went to Lincoln Park Zoo. From the moment we told Zachary where we were headed, to the time we walked through the gate, the only thing we heard from his mouth was, "We're going to see MONKEYS!"

So, see monkeys we did. And penguins, apes, chimps, giraffes, zebras, lions, tigers (polar) bears, and so much more. But, the monkeys stole the show. As does our little monkey, oftentimes.

Seeing the zoo and its animals through an almost-three-year-old's eyes was an astounding experience. Every little thing had to be studied and questioned. The things we take for granted ("the seal looks bigger right now because it's underwater and the glass is curved") can be breathtaking discoveries for a little one.

I sit here tonight reflecting on our adventure so thankful for the gift of Zachary. I am a better person because of his existence. His open, curious, sweet, gentle nature is a reminder to me that I can, and should, appreciate God's creative work more often than I do.

"There they are, Mom!"

The meal of choice these days, "hot dog and bread"

He did his best to drive the train, but this was the closest he could get.
Successful train ride, tired boy missing a nap.

This was a familiar sight around the zoo.

Coffee date with Mommy in Greektown.

Jumping on the hotel bed with Cousin Kaitlyn's Flat Stanley

Z's first time on a train. Flat Stanley's, too.

The end of a great adventure.

Are you happy?

2009-03-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

At almost-three years old, Zachary has begun to place labels on emotions that we experience. Curiously, he is particularly interested in, and in tune with, mommy's emotions.

In recent weeks, receiving a stern talking-to, or being disciplined, he stops, looks at me, shines his genuine, signature smile and says, "Are you happy?"

That makes it difficult to continue with the stern mommy-face. I am sure he sees that, and that is why he does it. What a goofy, goofy dude. He sure makes us laugh!

New habits

2009-03-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

So, Zachary is *almost* potty trained. He is, in that, he wears underwear, has accidents if we don't put him on the potty regularly, and still wears diapers at nap, night, and for "number 2." We still have a long way to go, but I now have hope that he will be trained before heading to pre-school in the fall.

Along with his new potty habit, he has taken to falling asleep in "his chair." We have found him fast asleep in the chair each night for close to two weeks now. We finally had to take a picture of it, because neither one of us imagine being able to sleep in the particular position we found him a few nights ago.

A few pics of the aforementioned activities follow:

Thumbs up for underwear!

Showing our muscles is a favorite pass-time

How in the world can he do this?

Gettin' a little perspective

2009-03-04T14:23:00.001-08:00

Sometimes it just takes a little peek outside of ourselves and our circumstances to gain a little perspective.

I admit, over the past few months I have been wrapped up largely in my own concerns. Both Adam and I have been busy with work, taking care of family tasks (big and small), and trying to make headway with seemingly unending projects.

Two weeks ago, we had the pleasure of packing food for Feed My Starving Children with our church. 115 of us packed 108 boxes of food in just over an hour. Those boxes will feed 64 children for a year, in one of the 50 countries that FMSC serves. What a truly great experience to be a part of something to make the life of a child richer. Perhaps I should say, it is gratifying to know our work may help save lives.

Last week, we took Zachary to a pediatric dermatologist at University of Chicago. He has a birthmark we have been watching for some time, and felt it was time to get it checked out to make sure it wasn't anything more threatening than just a birthmark. Thankfully, it's not an urgent concern. But, while at University of Chicago, I was constantly reminded of the urgent concerns that others were facing at the very same time we were breathing a sigh of relief.

Both of these opportunities gave me a gentle reminder that--although we do have stress and concerns--life is rich for us. We do not rely on the kindness of strangers for our one meal per day, we have good health, and we have a community to support us, encourage us, and pray for us when things are not quite smooth sailing.

We are thankful for the perspective we gained in the past few weeks. To end this post on a lighter note, I am posting two photos below: one is Zachary in his very first "doctor's visit gown", and Adam at the food packing party.

Being Mom

2009-02-04T14:10:00.001-08:00

A friend recently posted the following article on her Facebook profile. I took the time to read it and found myself laughing uproariously. If you'd like to read it, click on the image, it should bring up a full-size page for you.

If you can't read it, or don't want to take the time, in a nutshell: a reader writes in...she can't fathom why her friend with kids is so tired all the time and can't seem to eke time out for her friendships. Carolyn Hax responds artfully with great insight; she humorously defuses this reader's bomb with a description of what it's like to Be Mom.

Just two weeks ago a friend and I were laughing about the fact that when we were DINKS (dual income, no kids), we just didn't understand why many of the moms we knew looked constantly like they'd been through the wringer. Now we know.

It's not just the things that Ms. Hax mentions in her article. It's also the weight of the world known as growing a healthy, contributing member of society without sending that individual into years' worth of therapy--all while working on weeks/months/years of five or six hours of broken sleep each night--on your shoulders.

Single moms who have to work full-time while raising their kids (like my very cool, older sister raising four kids on her own), especially deserve kudos for their hard work.

This stuff is hard. But, it's also pretty great.

Being Mom is the hardest and most gratifying work a woman can do, should she choose to go the route of motherhood. All of the women I know that are moms would absolutely do it all over again in a heartbeat. So, while it's hard, it also brings moments of sheer joy. But, as curious as this reader is about why moms don't have time for friends, I would suggest it may be best for her relationship with her mom-friend if she lose a bit of the edgy 'tude. I can guarantee that's the last thing a tired, spent mom needs to deal with. And, it may just be why she hasn't seen her friend in a while.

Photos of that glorious day...

2009-01-19T12:14:00.000-08:00

...well, the glorious five minutes, at least. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, scroll on down to my most recent post, "Sneak Peak..."

Getting the "Mee-mos" on

Uh, these feel a little weird

Poor kid, we've got some great blackmail pics

Checkin it out

Sneak peek into our future

2009-01-13T18:39:00.000-08:00

We recently experimented with Zachary in "big boy underwear". He was so incredibly proud of himself, and we were, too! He was strutting around in Nemo underwear (and, subsequently, Elmo underwear just for fun), as if he was the STUFF. He stayed dry for the entire five minutes of our experiment. Score one for true potty training (true vs. false being he has had at least one trip to the toilet each day for the past six months)!

The next day, I brought out the "Meemo" underwear at his request. I pulled off his diaper, put on the "Meemo's" and left the room for 30 seconds to toss the diaper in the proper receptacle. When I return, what should I find? Of course! A wet spot on the special "Meemo's". Score one for the not-quite-yet-trained bladder.

I imagine that this is a song I will be singing several times this year. I do vow to have that boy in "Meemo's" for good within the next few months. So, stay tuned!

Other thoughts and cherished memories:

*Zachary really "got" Christmas this year. He absolutely loved learning about Daddy Joseph, Mommy Mary, and Baby Jesus, both at his school, and at home. He also thoroughly enjoyed the toolbench Santa brought him.

*Each night, before bed, Adam reads to Zachary. The book of choice these days is You are Special by Max Lucado. The book tells the story of the Wemmicks, and each one's uniqueness in the eyes of his/her creator. This is an excellent book for each child's library. After storytime, we all sing four songs together--all of Z's choice, and always in the same order--Rock-a-bye-baby, Jesus loves you (me), Twinkle, twinkle little star, and The alphabet song. This bedtime ritual has become a cherished time for us, singing at the top of our lungs with great vigor, and not always all on the same pitch. I'm sure for an outsider listening in, it could be a humorous moment.

*Some of Zachary's recent sayings include: Yeah, baby!; I'll get it for you; Pick you up, mommy; I'll share it with you; I'm so proud of you. I also often catch him singing some of his favorite songs to himself, or his "friends" (stuffed animals).

This is a sweet, challenging time in our life with this little boy. He is an amazing human being, so gentle, loving, and funny. We look forward to seeing what 2009 brings with him!

Ice driving is not for the faint-hearted

2008-12-15T12:29:00.001-08:00

This one thing I know: I'm a ninny. A wimp. Totally faint of heart. When it comes to certain things. Flying is one, driving in icy conditions is another. Most other things I can make it through without the heart palpitations, sweaty palms, and concrete creeping through the muscles in my neck and shoulders.

This west coast gal is not used to ice-driving. Yet, this morning, I had a great adventure. This is how it went in my mind:

"This is crazy. Why would anyone drive in this weather?"

"Hmmm...that stoplight turned yellow. Better keep going and not brake. I said, DON'T BRAKE. Why is my foot not listening?"

When I come to rest in the middle of the intersection (thankfully with no other cars around), the inner dialogue continues:

"Should I really be driving in this? Why are so many people crazy enough to be driving on sheets of ice?"

As I drive past a car that has freshly spun out, off the road, into a ditch, taking out traffic signs, I continue:

"Why am I driving right now????"

When I arrive at my destination, I throw my hands up and let out a Zachary-like, "I did it!!"--in my mind.

Thankfully, the drive home was almost boring compared to the drive to my destinatination. A few lessons came fresh to my mind once this adventure had come full circle.

First, God doesn't give us the spirit of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind. As I focused solely on what I was doing, I did not fear going off the road. Instead, I felt confident in the journey.

Second, I realized that it's when my mind wanders--and I allow myself to be distracted--that those things I fear take over my thoughts and concerns and I don't find rest or peace in my mind or my heart.

Third, I am reminded that while I like to pretend I have control over certain things in my life, just like driving on ice, nothing is guaranteed. I may see an illusion of control, but underneath those tires, things are still a little slick, and could change in an instant.

So, while I'm faint-hearted about some things, I will continue to remind myself of the refresher course I had today. And, I'll be honest, I plan to stay home for the rest of the day.

Happy Ganksmiving, Ice Cream Saturday, and More

2008-12-13T18:31:00.001-08:00

I wish I could be more consistent with these posts--there is so much to share in just a little space. I blame the holidays for my lack of consistency. Perhaps in January, we will be snowed in too many days in a row to ignore journaling our latest happenings. Here is a short snippet of things on our minds these days:

-"Happy Ganksmiving"--Zachary couldn't quite get Thanksgiving out of his mouth in the right fashion, so he spent the day wishing everyone...well, what I just wrote. He was very sincere, and it was super cute, but required much translation when he was talking on the phone with grandmas and grandpas. We spent the day at home, just the three of us. We had a nice meal for lunch, cleaned up, and were all in bed for a long nap by 1:00. That's my kind of day off!

-Ice Cream Saturday--Somehow, Saturdays have become a dessert tradition for our family. After dinner each Saturday night, we all have a scoop of Edy's (Dreyer's for my west coast friends) Berry Sherbet in a cone. Yum! This has become something we all look forward to each week, talking and goofing off around the kitchen table together over a yummy treat.

-Before bed each night, Zachary loves to read a story, rock, and sing songs together. The two songs that are "must-sings" are Rock-a-bye Baby and Jesus Loves Me. Recently, Adam has hung out in Z's room while we sing together. It's become a collage of sweet moments for my heart to remember, all three of us singing those songs together. I know in a not-so-distant future, he will be too big for such nonsense.

-I have hit upon two "musts" for myself recently. Besides my absolute addiction to Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte, I also have discovered a terrible addiction to Facebook and to Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Peppermint Joe Joe's cookies. Indulgent, but oh so good.

Christmas is right around the corner (gasp!), so here are a few pix from our decorating adventures:

Just a simple afternoon project for Zachary

Decorating Zachary's tree
All done, time to pose for the paparazzi

Hmmmm how many jingle bells will fit on this garland?

Truck-or-treat fun

2008-11-24T18:43:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I am behind and just trying my derndest to get caught up. Following are pictures from Zachary "Truck-or-treating" on the first Halloween that he truly "got."

With Mommy at her old office at Wheaton College

"Hey Sean, try a sucker, they're AWESOME!"

"Uh, Mom? I thought you said we were going to see Avery and Romey."

With neighbors Tunde and Sade, our neighbors

"Mom, I found a fire hydrant!"

"Check out my haul!"

Favorite Zacharyisms

2008-11-24T18:21:00.000-08:00

Zachary's verbal abilities have exploded in the past couple of months. Because of that, he's come up with some pretty funny things that I just have to write down. If I don't, I will forget, and that would be a shame. So, here they are:

-Talking to Adam about the leaves that have fallen off of the trees: "Need to buy some more leafs at Target."

-In response to pretty much any question: "Um, no, I fink so" (which, in Bob the Builder world is, "Uh, yes, I think so")

-When given something (like milk, snack, food, you get the idea): "Fank you, welcome."

-Inquiry: "Where's the old stove?" "Backing up." (in the truck that hauled it away)

-General food statement: "It's yucky...IT'S YUMMY"

-When taking off his jammies because they were wet and dirty: "Need to buy some more jammies at Target." (Do you see a theme here?)

-When something is broken (including crackers): "Need-a tape."

-Overheard singing: "Yes, Jesus loves juice, the Bible tells me so."

Us out "truck-or-treating"

The house of croup

2008-11-20T15:28:00.001-08:00

It's been entirely too long since I've posted. So much has happened, and Zachary has developed in so many ways, that I will have to do a more in-depth post at another time.

Suffice it to say, it's been quite an adventuresome couple of weeks for our normally very average household.

It all began when our washer quit working. We may as well have unplugged it, we were getting such a great response from it. So, I called the Matag repairman. After learning that the cost of the repair would not have been worth it, we began the long, arduous task of researching replacement options. My train of thought turned into this: Well, we were told a couple of months ago that our dryer would also need a repair costing another couple hundred bucks, and on top of that, the stove is starting to smell a little too strongly of gas (which felt slightly dangerous to me), and we were told a few years ago that to fix it, we'd have to shell out another couple hundred bucks so...what the heck! Let's just buy three new appliances at once! Very pragmatic, don't you think?

In the midst of this, Zachary woke up a few days later with Croup. So, evidently, our appliances must have passed the bug along to our sweet little boy. Poor child could not sleep a wink for almost a week. Okay, he could sleep a wink, but it really felt like only a wink for five days.

We have now made it through the craziness. Our new stove is already in use, and the laundry appliances are on order.

Zachary has offered us many laughs in the midst of the sleepless nights and slight stress. Consider the following exchange during a recent nightly bath:

Zachary, beginning his nightly fishing game, looks up and says, "Where's Dad?"
I reply, "He went downstairs, he'll be right back."
To which he responds, "ADAM, ADAM, ADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMM!"
Upon returning, Adam says, "What's my name, Zachary?"
"Dad"
"What's my other name?"
"Adam"
So, I decide to jump in the mix, "What's my name, Zachary?"
"GRANDPA!"
We'll try again another day.

It's so hard to say good-bye...

2008-10-21T13:31:00.000-07:00

At 2 1/2, Zachary has already had to say good-bye to a few good friends because of family moves for jobs. He doesn't really understand it all at this young age, but I am sure one day he will be acutely aware when a friend moves away. Recently, he had to say good-bye to one of his best buddies, Evan. His family moved to the northeast, and Zachary is left here asking for EvAAAAAAAAAn every other day. I'm so sad for Z, because he and Evan played so well together and had a blast laughing (almost) uncontrollably at the silliest things: driving toy cars on each other's arms, watching a ball bounce in a funny way, or trying to "pass" a balloon in the air. They loved playing trains, going to school, and making a serious mess of whoever's house happened to be in the way of these two boys.

We will miss Evan and his family terribly, but do wish them the best in their transition home. Below are a few pictures of the two buddies.

This is only appropriate at age two

Zachary playing with Baby Colin, Evan's brother

Isn't he the cutest?

Taking a break from the train table to mug for the camera

Little did they know, this would be their last playgroup together

Oh ye of little faith...

2008-10-07T13:31:00.000-07:00

I often hear from a few Doubting Thomases that there is absolutely no way that my house is ever messy (usually friends and family who visit after a good house-cleaning). Well, obviously, that is not the case--we do have a 2 1/2 year-old boy! Anyway, I felt the need to offer some evidence to the contrary. I took these photos after we hosted a playgroup of 6 toddlers (including Zachary) and 5 crawlers. It was a ton of fun, as you might be able to see in the following pictures.

Potty training in public places

2008-10-04T14:04:00.000-07:00

Zachary has become very adept at going potty on the "big boy potty seat"; he's just taken to refusing to go at home, unless it is just before bathtime at night. I tell you this only to help you understand my newest dillema: public toilets. Specifically, Zachary is only interested in going to the bathroom if we're in public.

So, picture this: we're at Starbucks this morning. I'm halfway through my Pumpkin Latte, Zachary is chowing on his donut. A man passes our table and enters the men's room. Zachary jumps off his chair and shouts "Zarachary go POTTY!!" and runs to the bathroom. I grab my diaper bag and try to catch up with him quickly without knocking over our entire table and making a further scene.

So--as with every other public bathroom experience thus far--this is how the potty time goes: 1)take off the shoes, so I can 2) take off the pants, so I can 3) take off the diaper, so we can 4) put a toilet protector on the seat--at this point, Zachary, in just socks and a shirt, runs over to the garbage can, and sticks his hands right in--I catch him, then get him on the toilet. He goes, SCORE! Now, we have to do everything in reverse, without him running out into the store completely naked. My friend, Lil, has perfected putting diapers on her son while he stands...I, however, have not. Therefore, I hope and pray Zachary's diaper will stay on the rest of the time we are out and about; at least on enough to catch the inevitable...

This scene has played out in church, a funeral home, the library, and several other places. I look forward to the time when he is completely trained so it doesn't take 15 minutes to go to the bathroom. I don't understand his obsession with public toilets--I'm a little grossed out by them myself--but, we moms do what we have to do, right? Ahhh, the life of a mom!

Encouraging words, just in time

2008-10-02T07:27:00.000-07:00

Mom friends, do you ever wonder if what you are doing is enough? Do you feel--like I do--that some days things just click, and other days, it all falls apart? I've had a couple of less-than-smooth-sailing weeks, and have been fairly hard on myself as a result. Well, in God's perfect timing (as always), the following devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries landed in my e-mail inbox.

No pictures today, just a word of encouragement and solidarity to all my mom-friends.

Good Mom, Bad Mom, Good Mom
Lysa TerKeurst

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26 (NIV)

Devotion:
Good Mom? Bad Mom? Good Mom? Bad Mom? Do you ever feel as though you are the ping-pong ball in a heated match bouncing constantly between feeling like a good mom to a bad mom?

One minute I have a great discussion where my child finally gets it... GOOD MOM!
The next I get an e-mail from a teacher that lists the three parents who have yet to turn in that permission slip and I am on the list for all the world to see... BAD MOM!
I calmly handle the stresses of the morning routine... GOOD MOM!
But then during the afternoon homework session, my child's irresponsibility over a last minute project just about sends me over the edge. I find my neck muscles tensing and my voice rising... BAD MOM!
I make sure they pack something healthy for lunch... GOOD MOM!
The schedule falls apart in the late afternoon and I wind up feeding them sugar cereal for dinner... BAD MOM!
Sometimes I feel like that ping-pong ball mom bouncing from feeling good to bad. Yesterday morning I sat down at the kitchen table after getting everyone where they needed to be and cried. Sometimes having kids is the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. Other days I feel like the task of parenting little people is driving me to the brink of craziness.
Just the other day I was processing some recent family things with my friend, Renee, over the phone. Suddenly a strange theme seemed to arise. I just started laughing. I told Renee that so many of my days seemed to tell the same kind of story... I was on the verge of a breakdown and then I spent time with Jesus and He made things better.
Renee quipped back to me, "Well, isn't that where most of us live every day?"
Not that we are on the edge of a breakdown, but we live in a place of utter dependence on God. I know as a mom, I live in constant need of His love, encouragement, wisdom, perspective, strength, patience, and grace.
Anything I do right as a mom is because of my constant dialogs with God.
Anything I do wrong as a mom is because of trying to do things in my own strength and slap wearing myself out.
That's where grace steps in. And I need lots of grace. God's grace steps in and says, “Lysa, you are doing better than you think. Stop bouncing from feeling good to bad to good to bad. In the good times, rejoice and thank me. In the not so good times, call out to me quickly."
And suddenly it occurred to me; with God I'm never a bad mom. I might be having a bad moment... or two... or seventeen. But a few bad moments do not define me as a bad mom.
God's grace is there to cover me. Teach me. And even in the middle of a bad moment, interrupt me, redirect me, and change me.
Forgiveness is there. Love is there. A second chance is there.
You are a good mom my friend even if, like me, you’ve had a few bad moments... you is the exact mom God knew your children needed. Let's live in that truth today.

Our Staycation

2008-09-15T18:30:00.000-07:00

One of our favorite annual events is the Navistar Cantera employee picnic. This year was even more fun because Zachary was really starting to "get" the excitement and all the cool things they offered (inflatables, circus people, BIG TRUCKS, and more!!). Z got to go on his first pony ride, on a pony named Bingo. He got to go in a school bus, which was extreme fun, ride in a MXT, eat all the yummy food...and (almost) skip a nap. By the time we got home, Z was tuckered out from a fun day and more than ready for a good resting. This was a good day to be a mommy, so fun to watch him experience the newness of things that we grown-ups can--and do--take for granted.

We enjoyed our time with friends, and Zachary got to experience this all with his good buddy, Josh (pictured below in the school bus with Z). This is a great fall kick-off for the Self family...many more fall events to come!

There is nothing that pleases Zachary more than being with his daddy and watching school buses drive by--put those two together and he's in heaven!

Mama and her boy waiting for the pony named...

BINGO

Ice cream, and ice cream sandwiches, are a must in our family for any celebration

Hugging the trees--you can take the Mama out of Oregon, but the genes keep going!

First Day of "School"

2008-09-11T18:39:00.000-07:00

Zachary is officially in "school"--a Parents Day Out program at a local Lutheran church. His first day was actually Thursday, September 4, but true to form, I'm a week late in posting photos or any information about it. He goes to school once a week--each Thursday--from 8:30 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. A long time for a 2 year-old! But, he absolutely loves it! Two of his playgroup pals, Elsie and Evan, go to the same class, so every day I now hear "Zarachary, Elsie??!!" or "Zarachary, Evaaaaaan??!!" Translated, Zachary wants to see the friend of his choice, as soon as possible, preferably. Since he is two, he had a difficult time standing still for the traditional first day of school photos...so, what I have below is my best effort, among pouring down rain, a blown-out umbrella, and a desire to stay as in-tact as possible for my meeting that I was due to in less than an hour.

Meet Harvey

2008-09-11T18:21:00.000-07:00

We made a new friend last weekend, Harvey. The first live preying mantis any of us had ever seen. We watched it on and off all day, and it didn't move from its post on our family room window screen. It was probably the weirdest creature I have ever seen, and it was amazing how much Harvey watched us. Harvey was gone the next morning, and it has been a week since we spent the day with him, but Zachary still asks for Harvey, and looks out the window to find him. Here are a few photos from our home-based adventure.

I can sleep anywhere...

2008-08-23T18:41:00.000-07:00

When Adam and I first found out I was pregnant, we felt the weight of raising a decent human being heavy on our shoulders--not to mention the fervent hope that he would one day embrace our faith, be able to put 2 and 2 together to get 4, and tie his own shoes.

We still feel that weight, and the weight of finding the best way to teach him through these stages of life. In turn, Zachary has given us the precious gift of laughter amidst the newfound responsibility. Every day he does something that gives us a chuckle, and many days he offers something that requires outright belly laughs.

Each night we check him in his bed before we turn in. Many times he's kicked off the covers, or scooted into the corner of his bed sleeping with his bottom in the air. Then there have been the times that we've found him without his jammies on...or his diaper. Well, this week we turned a corner. Upon entering his room, we couldn't find him. Where could he have gone without us noticing? So, we looked in the only logical place--underneath his bed. And this is what we found:

He had taken all of his friends under his bed with him and fallen asleep covered by the bedskirt...so we came in to a completely empty bed! Amazingly enough, he didn't wake up even though we took several pictures before moving him. There is always room for laughter, even under the bed.

8 Years

2008-08-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

Happy Anniversary, Adam Self! You're still my favorite guy after 8 years of marriage and almost 10 years of knowing each other. In fact, I like you more now than ever. I appreciate that you love me, the whole package, flaws and all. I knew something was different about you on that first date sitting by the firepit while eating dinner at Desert Fire, and afterward hanging out on the Kirkland waterfront. I guess it's a good thing my neighbors wouldn't come with me on that first date after all, huh? Thanks for taking this ride with me, making me laugh, listening when I cry, playing Ginny Owens when I am at the end of my rope, and for "getting" me (much of the time). God sure knew what He was doing when He paired us up. No one else would be able to live with me, I'm sure of it ;). Here are a few of my favorite memories:

Long naps

2008-08-18T12:19:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was a kid, I hated naps. I fought them, and remember telling my mom on more than one occasion, "I'm NOT tired!"...only to wake up after a sweet two hour nap. Now, as an adult, I long for naps and average one a month (if I'm lucky).

What I really crave these days is a long naptime for Zachary. I had no idea that a two year old could have so much energy! It takes everything in me to wear him out in the morning enough to get a peaceful two hours to myself in the afternoon. No, I'm not complaining, because I know many moms would give their right eye and left arm for two hours of peace and quiet. I'm just coming to the realization that I didn't know how great it was before it was less and less available. Kind of like the water situation in my last post, but...okay, maybe not.

So, Zachary is taking a longer than normal naptime right now, and I'm reveling in thankfulness. Soon he'll be up asking for "lemonane" and cookies, and our world be be "right-size-up" again. Amazing what a little rest can do.

Waterless

2008-08-09T13:17:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the song, "You don't know what you got, till it's gone"? I feel that way today. The great city of Aurora decided to give us little notice that for some unknown reason we would be without water from 6-8 a.m. this morning. It is now 3:20 p.m. and, you guessed it, our water is still not on...well, not properly at least. We have water in some rooms of our house, but the kitchen faucet pretty much just drips. So, without the capability to shower, I feel a little grimy and icky today. It's given us a good chance to catch up on some of that stuff that gets shoved to the back burner until something offers the "opportunity" to take care of it. Of course, there's always more to do than time in which to do it. Oh well...

Summer in Chicago

2008-08-08T19:28:00.001-07:00

Ahhh, summer in Chicago. On the days that aren't stifling with humidity, it's so enjoyable! Tonight we (Z and I) took Poppa to pick Adam up at "Dawwy's Station" (translated: Adam's train station), grabbed Subway sandwiches, and headed to Centennial Beach in Naperville. The beach is a converted rock quarry and is one of our favorite places to hang out. We've decided this is a great way to end the week, so will be making it a tradition from now until they kick us out (maybe we won't want to go in December when it's freezing).

I took some pix of Z in the pool with Adam and Poppa, but it'll probably be a miracle if I can figure out how to get those suckers uploaded from my phone. If I can, they will be up soon!

Love Poppa

2008-07-30T06:39:00.001-07:00

Don't you love Grandma and Grandpa? The kind you can leave your kid with and know that they are going to have more fun than you could ever dream up? My dad is in town for a couple of weeks, and I have to tell you...after dreaming up the insanity of a garage sale (I don't recommend it), I'm wiped out! Poppa to the rescue! Zachary has had more fun with him in a few days than I think we've had together in months. He loves it when Poppa tickles his "bewwy", reads books to him, and wakes up early (5 a.m.) to start the day right. Hey Poppa, want a grandson for a couple of months? 5 a.m. is just way too early for this one!

For sure, we miss having Grandma around, it makes for a different kind of visit. But, the Grants Pass grandkids get to enjoy her one on one for a change.

Welcome to the 20th Century

2008-06-06T20:28:00.000-07:00

Well, welcome to the 20th Century, Selfs! Join us in our new venture into all that technology has to offer. When we moved from Seattle to Chicago (in 2003), blogs were a fairly new phenomenon. And, we were busy with a new life, with no time for new tech (except the stuff that Adam works with, of course). So, here I am, enjoying the blogs of many of my friends, and I think, "I can do that, *I think*".

Here's hoping! Join us for the ride...